There is this thing that I've noticed about women where we sometimes get caught up in this thing of needing to apologize for who we are or appear smaller than we really are. So we use a lot of filler phrases like, "well I think" or "I don't know...but...." And really, you do know. And really you can give your opinion on something without making it smaller.
Sometimes we do the same thing with the way we walk into a room. Maybe we walk in trying to be invisible or we walk in exaagerating who we are to over-compensate. But that middle space of being exactly who we are with full permission gets missed.
So, how do we walk into a room without apologizing who we are?
Keep your posture open.
You know what I mean. Stay open. When you walk into a room, don't close yourself off. Whether it is the grocery store, your house or a meeting; keep your heart available and remain open. Some good indicators that you aren't staying open is crossing your arms over your chest, keeping your head down, tensing your jaw. Some good ways to keep your posture open? Keep your hands at your sides. Stand tall. Look horizontally.
Be of a confident spirit.
The reality of it is that we'll never have another you and all you got is what we need. You can be confident about that knowing that what you bring is necessary not just in performance but in the very essence of who you are. You can walk into a room confidently. Not over-the-top but confidently.
Sometimes when people walk into a room loud and boisterous, that's not because of confidence. That's them actually over-compensating for who they think they have to be.
Confidence is simply showing up convicted and on purpose. Cultivate that in your life and it will become easier and easier.
Pay attention to the words you use.
As briefly mentioned before, watch the language that you use when you introduce yourself or how you talk. Watch how you use humour or even laughter. Watch how you insert sarcasm. Watch how timidity feels in your body and through your words. When you watch these things, you'll become aware of the ones that are hindering you. Dance with yourself in the process of learning how to walk in without doubt, without apology, without hinderance. Celebrate more and say what you're going to say unashamedly.
What you wear makes a statement.
For a long time, I think I kind of hoped this wasn't true but what you wear makes a statement of who you are. And how you present yourself is a declaration on whether you're apologizing for yourself or not. Look at the colors you wear. Look at how you take care of even the smallest details of your body. Look at the outfits you choose. Are you trying to hide yourself? Are you trying to appear small? Are you trying to disappear? Are you over-compensating? Are you trying to make yourself appear big out of insecurity?
Your eyes say it all.
They say eyes peek into our soul and I honestly believe it is true. You can look someone in the eyes and instantly know if they are apologizing for their presence. You deserve to occupy space in the world. You're here on fiery purpose. Your presence is not a burden or a weakness, but your presence is necessary.
You as a woman deserve to walk into every room you enter as yourself, not apologizing, but being full of exuberant confidence.
That's what you were made for.